Meet Me Beyond the Labels

So, I'm Kes. My full name is Kesley, and I like that, but Kes is for the dyslexics among us who might otherwise call me Kelsey. I'm certainly not a Kelsey.

When I'm not pottering in the garden, being idle with a book, or following some creative pursuit, I spend a lot of time being a therapist.

In one form or another, I've been a therapist for the best part of my adult life. As a child, it was my grandmother who taught me to be an excellent listener—and also instilled in me a penchant for teapots. I took my first classes in becoming a holistic therapist in my early twenties. I'm now in my mid-thirties, and have worked with many people of various ages and social positions.

Let's start with the power and privilege stuff. Although it's clunky, it's important to name because it affects how you and I relate through our identities and social status. If we don't talk about these things, we’re likely to conform to predefined (and sometimes damaging) roles, projections, and expectations—instead of being real, authentic human beings together. I'm all about authenticity.

‘He’ and ‘they’ are fine with me. I'm male-bodied but see my inner being as non-binary. I'm unusual for a counsellor, not only because I'm one of the few younger and male therapists, but also because I'm from working-class origins (although now find myself straddling different classes). I'm also one of the many white therapists in a field with far fewer therapists of culture or colour. (BAATN is a good place to find Black, African, and Asian therapists, in case you were wondering.) I welcome everyone to my practice, and I also think it's useful if a therapist can mirror something of a client's identity and experience.

I'm queer and neurodivergent, and perhaps it's important to mention this because I, too, know, deeply and painfully, what it is like to be different in a social system that values sameness and conformity, and repudiates difference. We all come into this world innocent, authentic and worthy of respect. Everyone belongs and should be included and understood, not oppressed or made to believe the way we are isn’t "normal", "productive" or "good enough." Our worth is inherent and intrinsically linked to our authenticity; who we naturally are.

My experiences have led me to anti-capitalism; I believe in people (and all of nature) over profit. Too often governments, institutions, media and corporations have othered, misrepresented and marginalised people, exploited vulnerabilities, and reinforced beliefs and ideas that damage people and the planet. Whether we like it or not, therapy is a political space; every aspect of who we are enters the therapy space, and the choices you inevitably make about your life will either be toward living a life you love, or influenced by powers and narratives that have held you back.

In some sense, I may have a little expertise in therapeutic skills, research, and theories about how paradoxically complex and simple we all are as human beings. Still, I'm a total beginner when it comes to getting to know you: who you are, and what would make life wonderful for you. I believe that you are your own best therapist and I'm just here to support you with that. Whilst I'm trained in multiple therapeutic modalities, ethically, I am oriented toward a person-centred approach. I believe this is the surest way to find autonomy, agency, and empowerment in your life—inside and outside therapy.

You'll find out more about how I work on my homepage. If you’re curious to work together or just want to chat before making up your mind, I’d love to hear from you.

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