Listening to the Felt-Sense: Finding Ourselves in Embodied Relationship & Belonging

What if the depths of our inner world weren't a solitary landscape, but a rich territory we could genuinely share and explore with others? What if the felt sense—that subtle, quiet language of the body—was always in active, dynamic conversation with the spaces, people, and intricate systems we navigate daily?

This expansive understanding is at the heart of two distinct yet deeply complementary approaches: HomeFocusing and Relational Whole Body Focusing. Both build on Eugene Gendlin's Focusing modality, and invite us into a profound way of being - an orientation to life that keeps us intimately connected to ourselves in context.

HomeFocusing: Sensing Our Selves in Life's Living Systems

HomeFocusing, developed by Annat Gal-on, a Focusing Coordinator and systemic constellations facilitator, arose from a clear need: to bring the power of Focusing beyond the therapy room and into the vibrant, messy, and beautiful complexity of real life. As Annat puts it, "HomeFocusing is a holistic approach that refers not only to our internal system, but also to the systems of which we are a part, in our everyday life.”

Distinctive Qualities of HomeFocusing:

  • Systemic Lens: HomeFocusing explicitly acknowledges and works with the impact of the broader systems we inhabit—our family, culture, workplace, community, even societal structures like patriarchy or colonialism. It recognizes that our felt sense is influenced by these relational fields.
  • Contextual Embodiment: It emphasises staying connected to ourselves in context. This means sensing into your body while simultaneously aware of your surroundings—the room, the people, the history of a place, the underlying cultural currents.
  • "Not Turning Inward as an Escape": A core tenet is that this practice isn't about isolating ourselves or retreating. Instead, it's about sensing into the relational fields we are already a part of and listening to what's alive between us and those fields.
  • A Daily Life Posture: HomeFocusing is designed to be integrated seamlessly into everyday moments. It cultivates a posture of pausing, of allowing meaning to emerge from the interaction between our inner experience and the outer world, and of sensing the "more" that subtly exists beneath the surface of the obvious.

HomeFocusing in Action: It shows up when you step into a room and instantly feel the lingering residue of tension, or when you walk through a familiar landscape and your body responds with a quiet knowing before your thoughts form. The practice is not to fix, label, or over-analyse these moments, but to listen, accompany what arises, and sense what truly wants your presence in that specific context.

Relational Whole Body Focusing: Deepening Embodied Presence with Another

While the felt sense is inherently relational, Relational Whole Body Focusing (developed by Kevin McEvenue) brings an explicit focus to how the felt sense emerges and shifts within the direct interaction between two or more people. It deepens our capacity to stay with the complex, fluid information of our bodies as we engage relationally.

Distinctive Qualities of Relational Whole Body Focusing:

  • Interpersonal Co-Regulation: It focuses on how our bodies attune to and influence each other in real-time. The felt sense isn't just "my" felt sense; it's a dynamic, co-created experience that unfolds in the "between" of a relationship.
  • Embodied Dialogue: This approach emphasises listening not just to words, but to the full bodily resonance—postures, gestures, subtle shifts—in both oneself and the other. It's about letting your body respond to the other's body in a mindful, respectful way, and allowing new meaning to emerge from this deeper communication.
  • Direct Partnered Exploration: Often practised in dyads, one person "focuses" while the other acts as a "listener," gently reflecting back what they hear and sense, helping the focuser stay with their bodily process. The listener also tunes into their own felt sense as they accompany the focuser, discerning how the shared field might be impacting them.
  • Grounding in Movement and Stillness: Whole Body Focusing often incorporates gentle movement or specific postures to access and deepen the felt sense, recognising that the body is always alive and moving, even in stillness.

Relational Whole Body Focusing in Action: It's present when you sit with someone and feel a subtle shift in your own body in response to their unspoken pain, or when in a meeting, a physical sensation in your chest helps you understand the dynamic of a challenging concern. The practice helps us stay present to the full, embodied reality of our interactions.

How They Work Together: A Path to Interbeing

HomeFocusing and Relational Whole Body Focusing are beautifully synergistic. They represent different facets of a radical understanding: that our inner life is always interwoven with outer conditions, and that healing happens not in isolation, but in profound relationship.

  • HomeFocusing provides the broad systemic awareness: It helps us understand how our felt sense is shaped by the larger contexts we move through, and to bring embodied presence into every corner of our lives. It's the daily practice of "coming home to ourselves in the world."
  • Relational Whole Body Focusing deepens the interpersonal connection: It hones our sensitivity to the felt sense between individuals, releasing profound empathy and allowing for co-created insights and shifts in real-time dialogue. It's how we share our inner world and truly listen to the life happening between us.

Together, they offer a pathway to experiencing interconnection and shared aliveness. They equip us to:

  • Stay anchored in our integrity even within oppressive or fast-paced systems.
  • Gently notice the cost of disconnection without collapsing into shame.
  • Discern when our body is in protest, longing, or deep knowing.
  • Initiate repair in relationships with greater gentleness and clarity.

Integrating these approaches more into our awareness helps us expand our capacity to listen—to the life that is already happening—in ourselves, in others, in the room, and in the rich, vibrant spaces in between. With respect, tenderness, and the unwavering guidance of the body, these practices invite us into a more responsive, relational, and deeply embodied way of living.

As the great poet, Mary Oliver wrote:

“Let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”

 

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