Listening Deeply to Yourself: An Introduction to Focusing for Therapy Clients
Rather than being a technique applied to a problem, Focusing is a kind of inner listening—rooted in presence, curiosity, and compassion. It offers a way of being that can soften shame, support nervous system regulation, and help bring insight and meaning to difficult experiences.
This guide is designed for use in therapy, either as a self-directed resource for clients or as a framework that therapists can weave into sessions. It includes both the why and the how of Focusing, grounded in empirical research and trauma-informed practice.
Why Focusing?
Focusing emerged from research conducted by philosopher and psychotherapist Eugene Gendlin at the University of Chicago, working alongside Carl Rogers. Gendlin asked a deceptively simple question: Why do some people change in therapy, and others don’t?
His research found that therapeutic success wasn’t determined solely by the therapist’s approach—it was most strongly predicted by what the client did internally. Those who paused, checked inward, and attended to a vague, bodily-felt sense of what was happening tended to improve significantly. Those who did not engage in this kind of inward sensing did not.
This insight became the foundation for the practice of Focusing.
Subsequent research has supported this finding:
Gendlin’s early outcome studies consistently showed that clients who used Focusing-like processes experienced deeper and more sustained therapeutic change.
Hendricks (2002) found that teaching clients Focusing skills enhanced their self-regulation, emotional clarity, and long-term outcomes.
A meta-analysis by Peltenburg et al. (2018) demonstrated that body-based awareness practices like Focusing significantly improved psychological wellbeing and reduced relapse in depression and trauma-related disorders.
Somatic psychotherapy literature (e.g. Ogden, Minton & Pain, 2006) affirms that the body holds implicit memory and that respectful attention to bodily felt experience can support trauma integration.
Focusing matters because it helps clients access the part of experience where meaningful, lasting change begins—not in the abstract intellect, but in the body’s implicit knowing.
How Focusing Works: A Trauma-Sensitive Approach
For neurodivergent clients and those with trauma histories, it’s important to approach Focusing with care. Turning inward can feel unfamiliar, confusing, or overwhelming. That’s why this guide emphasises choice, gentleness, and non-pathologising language throughout.
Focusing is not about getting it right—it is about allowing what is present to be known and accompanied.
1. Prepare the Ground
Before turning inward, take a moment to orient:
Notice where you are. Look around the room.
Feel your feet on the ground.
Find something comforting to hold or look at.
Acknowledge: “I’m choosing to pause and listen inwardly, just for a moment.”
Safety is the foundation. You can stop at any point. You’re in charge.
2. Invite What’s Here
Let your attention gently turn inside. Not to analyse, but to notice.
You might say inwardly:
“What’s wanting my attention right now?”
“Is there something in me connected to this situation?”
“I’m sensing how all of this lives in my body.”
You are not trying to understand with your mind. You are sensing into the middle of experience—the murky, meaningful place that holds more than thought or emotion alone.
What comes may be a tightness, an image, a word, a colour, a silence. It may not come immediately. That’s okay. Waiting is part of the practice.
3. Say Hello to What You Notice
Once something forms, acknowledge it gently:
“Hello, I know you’re there.”
“Something in me feels anxious… and I’m saying hello to that.”
“Something in me doesn’t want to do this right now… and I’m making space for that too.”
Use phrases like “something in me…” to create inner distance. This helps prevent being overwhelmed or fused with the feeling. You are not the feeling. You are the one who is noticing it.
This is called building an inner relationship—noticing, acknowledging, and staying near without judgement.
4. Sense How You Are With It
Next, gently check:
“How do I feel toward this something in me?”
This helps you notice if a part of you is scared, critical, impatient, or caring toward the feeling. Whatever you discover, welcome that too. You can say:
“Something in me is frustrated with this feeling—and I’m saying hello to that part as well.”
This helps build safety and self-compassion. You are not trying to change or fix anything. Just staying with it, like a respectful companion.
5. Listen for What It Wants You to Know
After a while, you may sense that the felt sense wants to communicate something. You can ask:
“What’s the main thing about this?”
“What does this part need from me right now?”
“What would it like me to know, if I listened with care?”
You may receive a word, a memory, a body shift, or a sense of clarity. Or there may be no clear answer—just a sense of being heard. That in itself is meaningful.
6. Notice Any Shift
Sometimes, just being with the felt sense allows it to shift. This may feel like:
A deeper breath
A softening or loosening
A new image or sense of relief
A change in emotional tone
This is called a felt shift. It signals that something inside has been met and has moved forward. But it’s not the goal. Even if no shift occurs, the act of listening inward is valuable in itself.
7. Thank What Came
End by acknowledging whatever showed up:
“Thank you for showing me this.”
“I’ll come back to you again.”
“You can keep unfolding in your own time.”
Then, take a moment to return to the room. Look around. Stretch. Let the process settle.
For Neurodivergent Sensitivities
Some neurodivergent people may experience:
Reduced or heightened interoception (body awareness)
Strong inner imagery or a rich inner world
Unclear or nonlinear sensations
Resistance to metaphor or imprecise language
A need for stimming or movement while sensing
All of this is valid. Focusing can adapt to your natural way of sensing.
You can:
Move, pace, or rock while you sense
Use colours, textures, or sound-based descriptions
Invite inner voices or images from special interests
Use drawing, journalling, or creative media to stay connected
Your body communicates in your language. There is no “correct” way to listen.
For Trauma Survivors
Focusing is not a trauma exposure practice. It does not require revisiting painful memories or reliving emotion.
Instead, it builds the capacity to be near difficult experience—at a distance and with choice.
You can:
Stay only with what feels safe or manageable
Focus around a difficult feeling rather than entering it
Invite inner protectors, symbols of safety, or comforting presences to accompany you
Name the edges: “Something in me doesn’t want to feel this,” and stay with that
These adaptations honour your pace and protect your system from overwhelm.
Final Thoughts
Focusing is a practice of self-contact. It does not ask you to force change, but to create the conditions in which change can arise naturally.
As Peter Levine observed, "Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness." Focusing offers a way of becoming that witness to ourselves.
Research shows that when people learn to listen to their inner bodily knowing with respect and patience, they become more emotionally resilient, more able to process trauma, and more able to act from an integrated place.
As Gendlin wrote:
“You do not have to go looking for a felt sense. It is always there, forming.”
Focusing helps us meet it.
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